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"Millers script calls upon dialogue that leaves the audience roaring" Newcastle Chronicle

About Me

About Me

Born in South Shields, North East England, I grew up working class, I was “educated working class”…meaning, I learned more from life than I did at school. I didn’t believe in the education system that that was offered, why? Simply put, it only suited a small percentage. So, educated working class/self taught, was my real education…reading, watching and listening to anything and everything to make sure my mind wasn’t left to waste.

 

Now, I’m not saying some of my little mind hasn’t gone to waste…I mean watching the TV show ‘Lost’ was a little bit of a waste! However, a lot of what I’ve done has served me well. Like throwing myself into the world of theatre.

 

For most of my life I have been a performer, acting on screen, on stage and sometime in places you can barely call a performance space. During this time, my head has lived in scripts, comedies , panto’s and even Shakespeare…I know, a working class fool like me performing ‘The Bard’! In these years, I began to scribble things down myself. Small things at first, jokes, sketches and short children’s plays.

 

During a twenty plus pantomime career, children’s theatre and panto’s became second nature. So, much of what I was first commissioned to write was in that genre. A genre that still continues to pay the bills and puts instant noodles in the cupboard, to this day.

 

Adult comedies on the other hand, they became more of a “passion project” as they don’t bring in the pennies as much as some of the other writing work in my career. That didn’t stop me though, I continue to write comedy for the big kids alongside comedy for the little kids.

 

Most of my work has been performed/produced in the North East, some further north in Scotland. Despite my “ Northern..ness”. Comedy is universal, laughter knows no borders…I work and write in the hope some of the shit that spills out of me can be enjoyed far and wide.

 

Some of my works include: Being an Ultimate Warrior, Santa’s Naughty Elf, The Big Time, The Big Goodbye, Wendy The Witch, The Will Of Joe Spade, Peter Plank’s Spooky Spectacular Show, The Big Hit, Peter Plank’s Magical Mystical Egg , Swing When You’re Losing, TheLittle Mermaid

Work Experience

News/Updates/What's Gannin On

 July 2026
New Pricing:
£230 SCRIPT AND LICENCE
(COVERS UP TO 30 PERFORMANCES)
BESPOKE SCRIPTS £400 WITH LICENCE
( COVERS UP TO 30 PERFORMANCES)










 

May 2026
 

Currently writing a brand new version of Cinderella. This will be available from Summer 2026.  This is a small cast version, but can be adapted.

*My brand new script of Beauty & The Beast is now available for licence

 

*A new version of Dickless Whittington: An Adult Panto, is now available for performance. This is an updated version of the professionally performed Dickless Whittington.

* My brand new script of The Wizard of Oz is now available for licence 

 March 2026

My adult version of The Little Mermaid  enjoyed a successful tour of the UK. A very well received script by audiences up and down the country.

Audience Reviews:

"The cast were amazing, great script too. so funny"

"I enjoyed every minute of it , would go and watch it again and again."

"you just gotta see it totally hilarious."

"So funny, and rude...  brilliant"

This script has now been updated for a new 2026 draft

Education

Scripts Available

 

Comedy Scripts:

The Big Time

Comedy about two wannabe gangsters, who get in way over their heads, on a kinapping job. One that goes horribly wrong. Jerry and Jacks want to climb the criminal ladder, but at what cost? A night of hilarious disorganised crime!'Ed Fringe  2018 hit comedy'

(Cast x4./ x3 male x 1 female or x2 male x2 female)

The Big Goodbye

Sequal to The Big Time. It's time to say goodbye at a funeral. Only the past is coming back for two attendies. These inept wannabe criminals, must face someone who could send them on there way to the afterlife too.

(cast x5/ x 3 male x2 female)

Three's A Crowd

They say, “You Can’t Choose Your Family”. Mike and Rose are firm believers of that, when Uncle Terry pay’s a ‘Fresh from Prison’ visit to the newlyweds. Terry is looking for a place to stay, Mike and Rose are looking to start a new life in their new home. This weekend really proves that, without a shadow of a doubt… Three’s A Crowd.

(cast x3/ x2 male 1 female )

Pantomime Scripts:

Family Scripts

The Wizard Of Oz

Rapunzel

The Little Mermaid

Beauty & the Beast

Pinocchio

Treasure Island

Aladdin

Cinderella

 

Adult Scripts

Big Dick Whittington

The 'Not So' Little Mermaid

Dickless Whittington

Beauty & The Horny Beast

Rapornnzel: A Totally Twisted Tale

Pinocchio: Got Wood

All cast sizes can be changed/added to upon request to suit.​

Full breakdowns and script samples upon request

Contact Me

Contact Me

Wayne Miller

c/o Scripts By Miller

For all script enquiries/commissions, use the contact form


 

Thanks for submitting!

© WayneMillerScriptsByMiller202 

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